Mom to Mom Blog: Judged

My child became an addict in his teens, lured to drugs and alcohol by a culture that glorifies substance use–the same culture that now, so ignorantly and harshly, passes judgment on him. And me.

I am judged for helping, fixing, and pushing (or not helping, fixing, or pushing enough) this sick child of mine who won’t be helped or fixed or pushed. I am judged for over-reacting and under-reacting, enabling and letting go. Most hurtful of all, I am judged to be a mother whose love must be somehow flawed.

When my child became an addict, I became the mom of an addict–a role I wasn’t prepared for and certainly didn’t want. It’s a role the whole world seems to have an opinion about, whether they know anything about addiction or not. Whatever I do (or don’t do), I am judged to be wrong, but I no longer pay attention to that. I just keep doing what I’m doing, with love.

“Judge tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.” ~Traci Lea LaRussa

Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is from the book Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson.


3 thoughts on “Mom to Mom Blog: Judged

  1. Janice

    I don’t think I have ever read a more perfectly written post about being the parent of someone with substance abuse disorder. Thank you.

  2. Pingback: Mom to Mom Blog: Judged – Local Addiction Treatment Centers

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