Mom to Mom: Where Love and Addiction Meet

The first time my child reached his dimpled little hand out for mine, I was there. And I’ve tried to be there every time he’s reached out to me–and even when he hasn’t–ever since. Until, that is, my child became an addict. Addiction has made such a mess of things that I’m no longer sure if I should be within range when he reaches out (or even when he doesn’t).

I don’t know if my help is hurting this child of mine. I don’t know if I should stay silent or speak up. I’m not sure how to love without doing the things that seem loving, or where to put the dreams and conversations and hugs that have gone unused and are piling up. I don’t know how to fill my empty arms, or where to put my love for this child who says he hates me. My heart doesn’t understand this place where love and addiction meet–it’s all confused about what it means to be my son’s mom.

I cannot be there for my child in the way life intended, but my love will always be there whenever he reaches out–and even when he doesn’t.

“I mean, it is the most impossible love . . . it’s absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk, and then you grow up and head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff. And I’m supposed to just stand there and wave.” ~Because I Said So

Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

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3 thoughts on “Mom to Mom: Where Love and Addiction Meet

  1. SHEILA FURR

    I AM SPEAKING TO YOU AS ONE WHO HAS LOST A BEAUTIFUL AND BRILLIANT SON TO ADDICTION. COMPLICATED BY A BIPOLAR DIAGNOSIS. I CAME UPON TENDING DANDELIONS IN A DAILY READING FROM HAZLETON. IT STRUCK MY HEART AND SOUL. . I READ FROM IT DAILY AND TRY, SOMETIMES VERY, HARD TO REMEMBER THAT I DID MY BEST WITH WHAT “TOOLS” I HAD AT THE TIME, BUT………..! I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT TO OTHERS. THANK YOU FOR HAVING THE STRENGTH AND SKILLS TO HELP OTHERS WITH THIS HORRIBLE CHALLENGE.

    Reply
  2. Judy Landry

    You are such an inspiration! The thoughts you share are the same as every mother of an addict. You just know how to put them all together to help give us all strength and hope! Thank you deeply! ❤

    Reply
    1. Robyn Stanley

      Thank you Sandy for your open & honest books. Your helping so many Moms like me. Family members too. It’s your honest & open sharing that touches my heart. Your letting us know we are not alone. God bless you in your journey!

      Reply

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