Mom to Mom: I’m Not Ashamed

My child dreamed of becoming a firefighter, a fisherman, and a marine biologist when he grew up. Becoming an addict was not on his list. I know the child who dreamed those dreams and he is a child to be proud of. Tender and thoughtful and smart, he should be living his dreams. But my child isn’t here-an addict has taken his place. Someone who looks like my child is hooked to the strings of an evil puppeteer and living a tortured life. Instead of fighting fires, my child is fighting demons. Instead of tying flies, he’s flying high. Instead of reaching for the stars, he’s reaching for a bottle. A life full of promise lost to a jug full of lies. Addiction took my child’s dreams, chewed them up, and spat out a nightmare.

No, my child didn’t dream of becoming an addict, and it certainly wasn’t what I dreamed for him either. But I’m not ashamed my child is an addict. I’m sad he’s an addict. By shining the light on addiction, I might just get him back.

“Shame is a soul-eating emotion.” ~Carl Jung

Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

3 thoughts on “Mom to Mom: I’m Not Ashamed

  1. Gail Simmons

    Oh Sandy Swenson, I do not think I have ever read something so well written. It made me once again know I am not ashamed of my son. He was an Addict. He died an Addict. He battled and he battled hard for 16 years, trapped in someone elses body. He loved to fish, camp, and go to sports games. He was exceptionally good looking- I was told that often. He was in the TAG program in school- married his high school sweetheart and had two precious baby girls. They are my link to my son. I adore them soooooo much. I pray for a life of happiness and goodness for these little girls. I am not ashamed of my son- now or then…. for I loved him unconditionally and cherish the years I had with him. Watching him struggle was gut wrenching- Don’t tell me someone wishes that life for themselves.

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